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Gifts : Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Inspiration and Change

Things are moving in the right direction for me so far this year. I am working on ME by losing weight, exercising, no wine for over a week (very hard!) and surrounding myself with positive people and relationships.

So I want to share a story. Right before Christmas, when my friend Shannon and I were traveling to Canada to Annette's funeral to present at her eulogy, we had time to reflect on many interesting subjects. One was religion and belief. It came about as I have always been so in awe of those who just KNOW how they believe, that God does come through, and have no doubts. Also, I admire those that can communicate with those that have passed on or see them (Shannon) which reinforces their beliefs, or would certainly reinforce mine as to the afterworld and where we go. So I was wondering about praying and how to really ask God for help, and how to see the signs. I really wanted to hear from Annette! I do pray, I do believe, but I don't have the deep committed belief so many have. Shannon shared with me her deep beliefs, and how God has shown himself in her life, as well as some amazing "signs" given to her skeptical mom about her dad. It truly was a great conversation. Well, all of them with Shannon prove to be wonderful conversations!

So with all that has been going on during the holidays with my job/Annette/family stress I just did it Tuesday morning. I prayed something like this:

God, I know I pray but don't think I am doing it right. I don't know if you are listening. I know my path is mostly my responsibility, but I need help. I need you to guide me as to where my needs are as I am so unhappy at work right now. I need to know what to do. Should I stay? Should I quit and stay home with Nash? Should I find something else more fulfilling? Please guide me and if you can give me a sign so I know what to do. (Even hit me in the head if needed I wanted to pray!)

So, I went on about my day, and during lunch just left my desk to walk and clear my head. I walked to the mall, and on the way I passed one of the sIndiana state legislators heading back to session as the tunnel from the Govt building goes through the state house, to the mall. I overheard the 70's gentleman say "He has Down syndrome...." One of the younger aides asked what that was as he wasn't familiar, and the legislator said "Its a genetic disorder that has a lifespan of (I didn't hear the age). He is 40 and is at Riley right now getting his hearing aid fitted". I immediately called Jeff to find out who he was, as I didn't know we had a legislator in Indiana with a son with Ds. Jeff said he wasn't sure, so I asked him to call (name withheld) as she always chats politics with Jeff as she lobbys for (organization withheld). He called her and she told him it was Representative Hoy and it was his step-son that had a disability, but she didn't know it was Ds. Then, the woman told Jeff "by the way, Jan is on the short list of 5 for (position withheld). We are hiring without advertising, and I passed her resume you sent to me a few weeks ago"."

So, think that was my sign?

Prayers for this to be the right thing, and that I get it if it is?


~Melissa~ said...

It does sound like a sign! I will say a prayer that things fall into place for you!

Beth said...

I don't know if that is how things work or not. I know some people who pray for a good parking space at the mall and believe that God cares about such things and give him the credit when they get one. Other people pray for big, important things like healing from cancer and get a "no" answer, but are able to chalk it up to God's will and be at peace with that.
I have just as many questions as anyone else.
I do believe that there is power in prayer, I'm just often very confused about what that means.
In the meantime, I think it's awesome that you are searching for that meaning and looking toward God for direction and strength.
As confused as I often am, I do believe that God is there and that our prayers do matter.
Also, congrats on all the positive measures you are taking in your life in the new year!

Beth said...

Also, in completely unrelated news, I tagged you for one of those goofy memes on my blog...

Anne said...

I do think that the signs are usually there sometimes they are just very subtle or some people are just better at reading them. Although ever once in a while I feel like I've been clobbered over the head with a sign that perhaps I've ignored. I do pray this works out for you.

Pam said...

You have our prayers that it works out, and I think that it is a sign!!

Many hugs to you as you embark on this journey, we are behing you 100%!!


mum2brady said...

Jan - continuing to keep you in our prayers that is all works out! Congrats on your detox diet success and putting time into you!!!